“I DON’T HAVE ORGASMS”
Most women and men are physically capable of having them. Most are able to stimulate themselves to have them. There are some people, particularly women, who rarely have orgasms, and some who never have them at all. This does not always create a problem. Orgasms are nice, but they are not compulsory. If you are not having them, but you would like to, then that is a problem, which fortunately can usually be overcome.
The usual things which can affect sexual arousal, function and enjoyment, such as relationship hassles, emotional problems, depression, anxiety, tiredness, painful intercourse, etc., can affect your ability to have orgasms. Any of these factors may be relevant to your situation.
Vaginal intercourse alone is one of the least efficient orgasm-provoking sexual activities a woman can engage in, yet it is the one most widely practiced among couples all over the world. 1 am not saying that you cannot have an orgasm with genital intercourse, many women do, regularly, but it may be more reasonable not to have such a high expectation of this particular form of sexual intercourse alone. Experimenting with other stimulation, like manual stimulation of the clitoris for example, may be more satisfactory in increasing arousal to the point of orgasm. Sometimes finding this out by masturbation, and then sharing the information with your partner is a way to have more orgasms. (Your partner generally won’t know unless you
There is often an expectation that a person cannot enjoy sexual activity unless it ends in orgasm. Not true. It certainly can make you feel good having one, but it is not the only thing capable of doing that. Orgasms don’t last very long. Many pleasant sensations which last longer can be enjoyed by couples without the need to ‘finish it off.
Some people find that they are able to orgasm quite well on their own, but not with a partner. This may be a relationship problem, or it may be that you are not able to feel comfortable expressing your wishes. It may take practice. It may be useful to take the emphasis off having orgasms, because ‘performance anxiety’ is a well-recognized dampener of sexual arousal.
*36\52\4*
