GENDER DYSFUNCTIONS AND SEXUAL INHIBITIONS
Gender identity is not the simple matter it may seem. Our sexual organs and hormones are biological elements of our gender, just as are the sex drive and, perhaps, our sexual orientation. Our feelings about our sexual selves begin to take shape when we are given our gender assignment. We are “assigned” our gender at birth. It is usually based on the physical appearance of our sex organs. The doctor or midwife announces we’re either girls or boys. The decision is written on a birth certificate and becomes a legal statement of our gender. Gender assignment is very important in a society that sees female and male as being opposite—a society like ours.
The majority of people are born with clearly differentiated sex organs—they are either female or male. A much smaller number of people, however, are born with undifferentiated, or ambiguous, sex organs that are not clearly female or male. Some are born with both. Sometimes the external sex organs are both female and male. Sometimes the internal organs are both. Sometimes the internal organs are of one gender, but the external organs are of the other. A person who has clearly differentiated genitals of both genders is called a hermaphrodite. This occurrence is very rare.
Some hermaphrodite children and children with ambiguous sex organs become adults without distinct gender assignments. Some may become adults before they realize that their exterior sex organs are not the same gender as their interior sex organs. Some infants are given reconstructive surgery at birth to assign a gender that is clearly female or male. The surgery seems to have been helpful in some cases, but there are also cases in which the surgically assigned gender is in conflict with the person’s gender identity and feeling. And in other cases, surgical gender reassignment has led to a loss of sensation—especially when the size of the clitoris has been surgically reduced. Whatever the cause, ambiguous gender has profound effects on a person’s sexual identity in a society that has low tolerance for gender confusion.
After our gender assignment is made, we continue to rely on society to reflect our mental pictures of our sexual selves. We spend the rest of our lives learning what behaviors are proper for the female and what behaviors are proper for the male. But our sexual orientation, lovemaps, gender roles, and gender scripting may affect our gender identities in ways that conflict with our family values and social norms.
Many people find comfort in the feminine and masculine gender scripts dictated by social norms. Many other people are made uncomfortable by them. Many people accept their gender roles. Many people don’t. They may become sexually inhibited by their conflict about gender identities.
Some feel that they have aspects of both genders. This sense of sexual self is called androgyny. Some feel they have nothing in common with either gender. Transgenders or transsexuals may become more comfortable with themselves through psychotherapy, hormonal treatments, cosmetic surgery, and support from family and friends. Despite these supports, however, transgenders face serious emotional struggles because of the sexual norms of our culture. Those that choose surgery to reassign their genders undergo a process that is difficult and expensive.
Most of us do not experience such severe conflict with our culture’s gender norms. But each of us is so unique that we may feel conflict between the gender norms of our communities and some of our own sexual desires. For example, women may not know that it is okay to be sexually aggressive, and men may not know it’s okay to be passive. Many women and men try very hard to overcome the gender inhibitions they may feel by becoming hyperfeminine or hypermasculine.
Hyperfemininity is the exaggeration of gender-stereotyped behavior that is believed to be feminine. Hyperfeminine women, as well as some gay men and male-to-female transgenders, exaggerate the qualities they believe to be feminine. They believe it is their job to boost men’s egos by being passive, naive, innocent, soft, flirtatious, graceful, nurturing, and accepting.
Hypermasculinity is the exaggeration of gender-stereotyped behavior that is believed to be masculine. Hypermasculine men, as well as some lesbian and female-to-male transgenders, exaggerate the qualities they believe to be masculine. They believe it is their job to compete with other men and dominate women by being aggressive, worldly, sexually experienced, hard, physically imposing, ambitious, and demanding.
Hyperfeminine women often seek out hypermasculine men for sexual relationships. Hypermasculine men often seek hyperfeminine women. They are likely to have rocky relationships, however. Hyperfeminine women are more likely to accept physical and emotional abuse from their sex partners. Hypermasculine men are more likely to be physically and emotionally abusive to their partners.
Although most of us are not hyperfeminine or hypermasculine and do not have a gender disorder, many of us may have anxieties and inhibitions about femininity and masculinity that make sex less pleasurable for us than it might be.
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